If you’ve never been let go from a job, you are one of the few and lucky ones.
I’ve been there. You walk into work one day (or get a call), feeling like any other day, only to be told that it’s your last.
You’re let go.
Discharged.
Fired.
And it hits you harder than you ever could have imagined. In the blink of an eye, your job, your routine, your sense of security—it’s all gone. Just like that.
The initial shock of getting fired can be almost unbearable. For some, it feels like being hit by a wave you didn’t see coming.
You try to keep your composure as your manager tells you that you’re no longer needed, and even though it may be said in the most professional tone possible, you can’t help but feel a gut-punch of disbelief. You try to understand why, but the truth is, there often is no real reason.
That’s the harsh reality of “at-will” employment in many states—your boss doesn’t have to give you a reason. You could be the most dedicated, hardworking person, and still, you could be shown the door.
The first phase you may go through is a combination of denial and embarrassment.
In those first moments, there may be shock of “WHY” and then feeling embarrassed…. whichis normal. There may be shame that weighs heavily on you in a sudden wave. And questioning the actual reasoning of the choice they’ve made.
It’s as if the world is suddenly looking at you differently. People might ask what happened, and you’re left to explain a situation you barely understand yourself.
“It isn’t personal,” they might say.
But it sure feels personal when you’re sitting at home, wondering why it happened to you.
You feel exposed, vulnerable, like you’ve lost a part of your identity. It’s easy to think that being let go somehow diminishes you as a person, but it doesn’t.
That’s just the pain talking.
The next phase is a familiar one: anger.
You start to question everything.
- Why didn’t they value me?
- What was wrong with my work?
- Why wasn’t I good enough?
You may even begin to blame yourself or others, but deep down, you know this anger is masking something deeper—fear. Fear of not being able to find another job. Fear of feeling worthless.
That’s when the depression can really set in.
It’s easy to sink into that pit of despair. You start to feel worthless, like maybe you’re just not cut out for this. Your mind spirals as you dwell on every rejection letter, every interview that doesn’t turn into an offer.
You question your abilities, your worth, your future.
And before long, getting out of bed becomes an effort. The world outside feels like too much to face. You might not want to talk to people, go out, or even try anymore. It’s like everything you once knew—your job, your self-worth—has been ripped away, and you’re left with an empty space where confidence and motivation used to live.
But let me tell you 3 amazing things I learned through my own journey:
- We are worthy
- We are not defined by a job
- We are not defined by someone else’s decisions (in this case, ending employment)
Losing a job can shake you to your core, but it can also be the beginning of something new. It’s a chance to rediscover your value, and it’s possible to rise up from the ashes of a setback.
Here are 6 steps that helped me find my way back:
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Acknowledge the Emotions
First and foremost, allow yourself to feel. It’s okay to be angry, upset, or hurt. These emotions are natural and part of the healing process.
But don’t let them consume you.
Acknowledge them and then begin to work through them, instead of letting them control your day.
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Find Worth Again
When you’re at your lowest, it can feel impossible to remember your strengths. This is where a self-value journal comes in handy.
One day, I picked up a notebook and started listing everything I was grateful for in my life. As I wrote, I realized that not only did I have positive things to take pride in, but there were also people and responsibilities that depended on me—reminding me that I mattered, I had value, and I was important. The next time I opened the notebook, I made a list of things I liked about myself. Then, I went a step further and wrote down everything I was good at, slowly rebuilding my sense of self-worth.
Every time I wrote in the notebook, it was something I could look back on and read like daily affirmations to reaffirm to myself, that I had worth and it really gave me hope for a brighter day and a better tomorrow.
Here’s how to start your own self-worth journal:
- Start by writing down what you know you’re good at—whether it’s a skill, a personality trait, or something you’ve always been proud of. When you read over your entries, remind yourself that these things don’t change just because you lost a job. You are still a valuable person with a unique set of talents.
- Write down your goals, even the small ones, and
- Take a moment every day to reflect on your worth
Use this journal to create new lists in it and reflect by reading it back for your own motivation and affirmations when you need it on gloomy and depressing days.
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Set Small, Achievable Goals
In the depths of depression, even getting out of bed can feel like a victory. So, make your goals small. Really small if needed.
- Start by getting up and moving everyday.
- Get out of those pj’s and get dressed, even if you’re not leaving the house.
- Tackle one task at a time.
- Celebrate each tiny accomplishment.
These small steps will slowly rebuild your confidence, and you’ll begin to feel a sense of normalcy again.
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Find Motivation in Daily Routine
You need structure, especially when you’re unemployed.
- Create a daily routine that’s built around activities that nourish your mind and body.
- Find a balance between productive tasks, self-care, and time to relax. Whether it’s applying to jobs, learning new skills, or reading a book, keep your mind engaged.
- Exercise is incredibly important, too. It doesn’t have to be a strenuous workout, but moving your body will release endorphins and help shift your mood.
At first, all of these steps felt impossible. I would try one and fall short, attempt another and only make it partway. But little by little, I kept going.
Eventually, I found the motivation to push through and create my own daily routine—imperfect and messy, but mine. And with each small accomplishment, I felt a shift. My mood lifted, my self-worth grew, and I became proud of myself—not just for succeeding, but for trying.
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Reconnect With a Purpose
Losing a job can make you question your purpose. But it’s important to remember that your purpose isn’t tied to your employment status.
Take this time to reflect on what truly matters to you.
- What do you want to contribute to the world?
- What makes you feel fulfilled?
Use this as an opportunity to redefine your goals. Maybe it’s a new career, or maybe it’s pursuing something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for.
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Embrace the Journey, and Keep Moving Forward
The path to rebuilding after being fired isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the sting of rejection, the despair of wondering if I’d ever find a job again, and the self-doubt that comes with it all.
But I also know that I made it through.
And you can too.
Take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself, and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
In the end, getting fired isn’t the end of your story; it’s a new chapter. It’s a chance to rise up, rediscover yourself, and find your purpose again.
Don’t let this setback define you. You are worthy, you are capable, and you will come out stronger on the other side.
Keep going. Keep growing. Your future is waiting.
~~ As always friends, take care, be kind to yourself and others, and always keep learning to be better and do better.
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